In general, conflict has a bad rap, something to be avoided. For many, literally to be avoided at all costs. Truthfully, the costs might be more than you anticipate or imagine.
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Are you interested in finding love? Unless you are currently feeling resigned, I’m guessing you are a yes. Whether with a partner or inside your family relationships, friendships –anywhere really? You can find it almost everywhere.
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I hear so often from couples, “I love my partner so much. It’s our communication that suffers so.” If only they would put in the time it takes to learn good communication skills, they will find the joy and connection and even something deeper and more enjoyable than they can imagine.
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While true love is possible, how most people anticipate that this kind of relationship will actually become a reality is unrealistic and rare.
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Have you been to workshops, or read memes on social media about this? Either we are acting from love or we are acting from fear. I have. Often. Yet, is it really that simple? Kind of yes, and mostly no.
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Love. Such a wonderful word. I’m guessing you —like most of us wants the experience of love in your life and in your relationships. How do you love someone? By doing other things.
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Here I go, out on the risky limb of saying out loud: I’m so not in agreement with the current cultural narrative that Valentine’s Day is a good idea.
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Loving ourselves is so deeply mixed in our history of not receiving love (or being seen and celebrated) for who we actually were. Many of us got messages growing up about how unlovable we were (often unintentionally) in a variety of ways. Add in years and years of trying to get our love needs from outside —wanting others to love us —most often unsuccessfully, the idea of loving ourselves is like gibberish, we don’t have a reference point.
Here’s the funny (not funny) thing.
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Valentine’s Day is approaching.
As a relationship coach, I find it one of the most devastating holidays we ever invented. Does anyone truly —I mean really and truly enjoy, savor and celebrate this day?
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