How many times have you said, “They don’t respect my boundaries!” Of course, we can (and I encourage you to) ask others to respect our wishes and requests. Yet, sometimes (or often) they don’t. This is why I prefer another word.
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These past two years have been fraught with drama, fear, the unknown, separation, and isolation. The impact of living immersed in this global energy has taken its toll on us humans. Trying to relate in these conditions and limitations has been trying at best and devastating for some.
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Love. Such a wonderful word. I’m guessing you —like most of us wants the experience of love in your life and in your relationships. How do you love someone? By doing other things.
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When you come across a situation that is difficult, rather than focus your attention on that difficulty, ask yourself the question, “What can I do?”. You might be amazed at how this one shift will impact the quality of your relationships.
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For those of you who deeply want to change the way you communicate with others. For those of you who truly want to transform your relationships, for those of you who want to be responsible for your responses to the world, please consider never letting this phrase slip through your lips into the airwaves again. Even better, delete it from your thinking.
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Sometimes talking an issue through is just not the way to connection. Have you ever talked about something for hours and hours, or days, even weeks? Just creating more and more tension. And sometimes it’s just the best. Here’s what happened between me and Steve this past weekend.
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I don’t have a chart where I actually keep track, and I would easily guess that this is the question that I am asked most often. What if my partner, friend, mom, person out there in the world, doesn’t learn this NVC. My answer consistently is: It doesn’t matter.
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Instead of forgiving someone and accepting the implicit agreement that they said or did something wrong —and it is the ‘harmed’ person’s prerogative who gives permission for the other to be whole again, let’s look at this another way. Are you able to see what you are holding something against someone else ~and the pain it is causing you?
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Do you like to vent? Think it's helpful to just say what you need to? Maybe its helpful. I think not. Read further to tweak your venting so it will be productive. Not just yelling. I call it listing to the Hit Parade.
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