Your children are instantly navigating a new experience. Depending upon their age they don’t have the capacity to understand what’s happening in the same ways you do. For better and for worse. They don’t have the brain development to make meaning of what they are seeing and hearing. They exist more deeply on the feeling level. Not only are they trying to make meaning of the change in their lives, they are deeply impacted by you, the parents, their caregivers. In more ways that you might be thinking about. They are tracking on your every move.

I Already Said That!

There are a few things I have become aware over many years of teaching and learning NVC and how to relate effectively with other people. One is that we want a script. I think it is one of the appealing things in this work. There is a structure.

Self Care, Communication, RelationshipsTerrie LewineJanuary 30, 2020blog, communication, needs, nonviolent communication, connectionComment

Maybe?

How do you say maybe? My favorite way to say maybe: I hold off responding to an invitation when I am uncertain. At the moment I am convinced that it is better to not respond until I know one way or the other —meaning have a real answer.

Self Care, Communication, RelationshipsTerrie LewineJanuary 20, 2020blog, maybe, communicaion, friendship, freedom Comments

A Perfect Fit

It turns out I have been ‘forced’ to wear the wrong size shoe for the majority of my life. I choose to wear a size 9. Because I have a high arch and a wide foot, a 9 felt right-enough, meaning it would go on, although often tight across my foot, and bit too long. Long story short, it turns out an 8-1/2 wide is a perfect fit!

Health and Wellness, RelationshipsTerrie LewineJanuary 14, 2020blog, lifestyle, happy life, coachingComment

I am Just Trying to Help You.

I am on a plane returning home from a trip to visit Steve. I was the first to board the plane...first time ever that happened! Comfortably in my seat. 29F. By the window. A man younger than myself likely by 20 or more years comes to the row and let’s me know that he is in the middle seat. He suggested to me that this flight had few passengers and he would likely change his seat. He added, “Doing it so you can be comfortable.”

Don't Talk it Out

Maybe you are like me and when you find yourself in conflict you want to work it out right away?! I have found over the years that there are many times when this is just not the best idea. Why? Because talking it out with the person who you are in conflict with isn’t always the most efficient or even effective strategy to get needs met.

Flopping Around in a Net

Not another goldfish story?!

Yes and no. Well, yes.

One of my goldfish went over the last waterfall into the basin where the pump is. It will eventually be covered up so s/he would not survive. In order to save his/her life, I went in with the big net and caught it. It was flopping in the net, obviously in distress. Even though I repeated, “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay”.

In retrospect I was likely trying to calm myself, at very least in addition to the fish.

I was saving the fish’s life. Yet…

Communication, RelationshipsTerrie LewineJuly 29, 2019relationships, empowerment, women, choiceComment

Dangerous Assumptions

In working with hundreds of people over the years, and of course being human myself, the issue of assumptions has come up again and again as a great source of disconnection and suffering. We have explored some key assumptions that seem to be particularly troublesome.

I Want to Kill the Cat!

Last week I walked out to the pond in the morning to feed the fish as I always do. I immediately noticed the plant that was astray and then looked down to see a fish on the cement, pretty ripped up and obviously dead.

I became a bit frantic, immediately called Steve who wasn’t there, hung up and screamed, “I want to kill the cat!”

Some important additional information required here:

Communication, RelationshipsTerrie LewineJuly 2, 2019garden, fish, needs, feelings, communication Comments

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Relationship Reality ~ Let’s Talk About It

Whether it is about daily practices or new skills, my personal writings offer you practical advice that you can implement right away. You are not alone in figuring out life and relationships. Learn from my experiences out there in the world making it all work, even when it isn’t!!

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