A Perfect Fit

It turns out I have been ‘forced’ to wear the wrong size shoe for the majority of my life. I choose to wear a size 9.  Because I have a high arch and a wide foot, a 9 felt right-enough, meaning it would go on, although often tight across my foot, and bit too long.  

Years ago I was watching QVC (I have a little shame about watching QVC).  They featured wide width shoes—It was the first time I saw a wide shoe.   My intuition was alerted and I ordered something.  I discovered that an 8-1/2 wide is a perfect fit! 

I just shifted into this size for my sneakers.  Not only were these my actual size, the brand is designed for a woman’s foot, which is wider in the front and more narrow in the back.  When I put these on, my first thought was, ‘are these too big?’, and I realized it was because I could move my toes.  Crazy that moving my toes in sneakers was a new feeling at my age.  I can tell you it is bliss.  

It just feels so good.

Why am I writing about this at such length?  Certainly you aren’t all that interested in my shoe size.

Because my shoe experience inspired me to consider what else in my life was ‘just good enough’.  It was all I could get, or even hope for.

Here is a short assessment of some of the big things in my own life.  I hope it will inspire you to consider the big things in your own.

My relationship with my partner, Steve.  We put a lot of time and attention on how we relate to each other and what we want to experience with each other inside our relationship.  I can honestly say this is a perfect fit.  Our relationship is ‘long distance’.  His home is in Asheville, NC, and I reside in Philadelphia.  We have rich lives filled with people we care about.  The questions I have been asked over and over, gives me the understanding that this distance wouldn’t be a perfect fit for many —although I’m not 100% convinced so many people actually give it much thought.  The cultural norm is to live together.  So that’s what you do.  To someone like me, the idea of navigating every moment with someone in the same house seems like a big ask.  A lot of talking and navigating things like ‘where to put art’ —and the other person having an equal say.  That would be a little too much for me at this point.  Yet Steve and I have created a deep sense of trust, care, meaning and purpose, shared reality (we think about and like to talk about the same things —for the most part).  Also a deep sense of belonging (in in our own lives and in each other’s spheres.  And we laugh.  A lot.  Steve and me and what we are all about.  A perfect fit. 

 The place where I live.  Another perfect fit?  Pretty much.  I am in a neighborhood that I like and care about, in a home that was built specifically to reflect my values and my sense of design.  It offers me enough green space to garden and have the benefits of the city, (a little miracle perhaps?).  It is quiet at night.  Having my workspace on the first floor allows me to host workshops and share space with like-minded people who are doing their own great work, while doing my own meaningful work right here at home!  Philadelphia, city life with the small town feel (everyone knows each other) is my home.  1 hour from the beach.  Weather is not too extreme, no real threats (hurricanes, floods, earthquakes and the like don’t happen here).  So yes, if not exactly perfect (think winter)…it is super-good and I’m not sure where I would go if I wasn’t here.

My job/career?  I have always felt a sense of meaning and purpose in my work.  For the very most part really loving what I do.  Even the jobs I had before I ventured into the healing professions. Somehow I found them meaningful and connecting and fun.  I learned new things at most places and made friends easily.   For the past 22 years I have had my own business. Back to Life Wellness Center.  As the focus of my work has been changing little by little in recent years and I’m fairly certain that by the end of 2020 I will be once again, celebrating another perfect fit!

My question to you as we begin a new year and you consider (once again) what you want more of and less of in your life, what in your life is uncomfortable, what in your life fits well enough for now, and what in your life is a perfect fit?  Are there subtle changes that would shift what’s good enough into something fantastic?  Is there something you might ask for that would make a big difference?  Are you up for big changes this year?

What in your life is a perfect fit?