Flopping Around in a Net

Not another goldfish story?!

Yes and no. Well, yes.

One of my goldfish went over the last waterfall into the basin where the pump is. It will eventually be covered up so s/he would not survive. In order to save his/her life, I went in with the big net and caught it. It was flopping in the net, obviously in distress. Even though I repeated, “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay”.

In retrospect I was likely trying to calm myself, at very least in addition to the fish.

I was saving the fish’s life. Yet…

Communication, RelationshipsTerrie LewineJuly 29, 2019relationships, empowerment, women, choiceComment

Dangerous Assumptions

In working with hundreds of people over the years, and of course being human myself, the issue of assumptions has come up again and again as a great source of disconnection and suffering. We have explored some key assumptions that seem to be particularly troublesome.

I Want to Kill the Cat!

Last week I walked out to the pond in the morning to feed the fish as I always do. I immediately noticed the plant that was astray and then looked down to see a fish on the cement, pretty ripped up and obviously dead.

I became a bit frantic, immediately called Steve who wasn’t there, hung up and screamed, “I want to kill the cat!”

Some important additional information required here:

Communication, RelationshipsTerrie LewineJuly 2, 2019garden, fish, needs, feelings, communication Comments

Why Do You Have Sex?

Seems like a simple question. With two obvious answers.

Women, Self Care, RelationshipsTerrie LewineJune 25, 2019sex, self-awareness, connection, relationships, healthy relationshipsComment

Love Yourself First?

Loving ourselves is so deeply mixed in our history of not receiving love (or being seen and celebrated) for who we actually were. Many of us got messages growing up about how unlovable we were (often unintentionally) in a variety of ways. Add in years and years of trying to get our love needs from outside —wanting others to love us —most often unsuccessfully, the idea of loving ourselves is like gibberish, we don’t have a reference point.

Here’s the funny (not funny) thing.

inspiration, RelationshipsTerrie LewineJune 20, 2019love, couple, self-awareness, self-help, healthy relationshipsComment

What if They Don’t Want To?

When people approach me to do coaching (or come to a workshop) because they want a more satisfying partnership relationship, one of the first concerns I hear is, “What if my partner won’t come?”

My answer has always been, “It isn’t necessary.” Creating a satisfying relationship —if you want one, is your job.” That response is usually met with disbelief, and the relationship remains the same.

Communication, RelationshipsTerrie LewineMay 29, 2019healthy communication, communicationComment

Shop Your List, Not the Store

When I saw this title on a blog post I read, delivered to me from one of my favorite websites – Food 52, I immediately thought - oh yes, this is what I say to people over and over about relationships.

Compassion vs. Power?

Sometimes when someone is doing something we don’t like, we find it very difficult to are about why they are doing/saying it, and we find it very easy to label them as wrong. Some things are just so awful to hurtful to us, we lose our capacity to react any other way.

Has this happened to you? You really want to understand what motivated someone to do something —you sometimes even think you are trying to understand what motivated someone to do something. Your voice is pleasant, you insist that you really are curious. Yet, when it comes down to it, you really are furious, or disappointed, maybe full of despair. If you were able to slow it down enough and check in, you would be able to notice it.

The Sweet Spot

One of our deepest needs is connection, and a sense of belonging with each other. And we struggle so much creating that experience with a great deal of the people we know, including our partners, family, friends, and co-workers. Somehow we find ourselves upset, frustrated, confused, and disappointed, over and over.

How can this be? Our most important human need is so challenging to experience.

Let’s use the short answer.

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Relationship Reality ~ Let’s Talk About It

Whether it is about daily practices or new skills, my personal writings offer you practical advice that you can implement right away. You are not alone in figuring out life and relationships. Learn from my experiences out there in the world making it all work, even when it isn’t!!

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