Memorial Day
I have a few thoughts that arise pretty consistently on this day.
In general, I tend to not enjoy the days that honor people who have died in a particular way. War, or in a school shooting, or from corona virus, or something else. Possibly I need some therapy, yet I tend to feel frustrated. Sure I understand that it is sad, people lost people. The conversation after about the losses usually are too polarizing for me to engage in, wanting more heartful, creative and productive dialog. And it never comes.
On these days, Memorial Day, or when something shocking happens, or the anniversary of something shocking, I tend to want people to acknowledge all the losses I have endured. Are they less significant because of how they passed? Is the loss of my father, or mom, or sister not important because it wasn’t dramatic for the whole world to see? I rarely say this out loud because I imagine others will share their opinion of me, rather than offer me the empathy I long for.
On this day in particular, Memorial Day, my mind goes to our culture’s relationship to war and governance, and protection and what we ask our young people to engage in ‘on our behalf’. I am intentionally keeping my thoughts to what comes from my heart rather than delve into what might be considered political.
I do mourn the loss of the people who give and gave their lives in service to their country. It seems like a big ask and is something I would be afraid to do, until I thought I had no choice. I think the people who join our armed forces really want to contribute to life and the choice gives their life meaning and purpose. I am grateful that they are willing. I wonder, if we could ask them in hindsight if they are truly happy with their choice what the variety of responses would be.
How many people are taking the time on this day to honor those who gave their lives in this way? Has it become yet another media event for the most part, and for those who have actually lost someone? Do most people just enjoy the day off?
Mostly I wonder about the veterans who are alive yet have been injured in some way. Those who are living life with challenges they may not have considered at age 18 or 20 when they said yes so enthusiastically to serving. They haven’t lost their life, yet they endure significant physical inabilities and for many emotional wounds they likely could never have imagined. I wonder if we are supporting them in ways that is enough. Is there an enough? Do they regret their choice?
I am concerned about the cost of war and the romance of serving our country on the individuals that are actually doing the serving. It is something I think about a good deal. Today included.